I know it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, and the reason for that brings me to this post. Just after I wrote my last post I received news that I didn’t get a job that I was expecting to get after such a rigorous application process, and after that I fell into this horrible rut. I didn’t really want to do anything, I barely left the house, the days just all started to mesh together and I kept thinking to myself, what am I actually doing with my life. It wasn’t a great feeling, let me tell you. When I applied for this job that I didn’t get, I immediately got called in for an interview and subsequently had five more and a writing test, so at this point I was certain it was mine, but alas, and so stupidly I had stopped applying to other jobs, which put me in an awkward position when I didn’t get it.
So as you can probably imagine, I was feeling pretty hopeless and although this blog has always been somewhere that’s a comfort to me, I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything with it. I would spend days and days, literally all day long, applying to jobs and before I knew it, the day was over. That’s why I’ve decided to write this post, because we all deal with disappointment in one way or another, whether it’s professionally or our personal lives, and sometimes it can be hard to know what to actually do with that disappointment. I know it can be hard to get back on your feet and keep plugging on, so hopefully these tips help you the next time you’re let down or upset by something in your life.
Give yourself time to mope.
We all need time to mope about things that upset us, that’s just a given. Although you shouldn’t stay in this stage for too long, like I did, it’s a necessary step in order to get over something. You were disappointed, you were let down, something didn’t go the way you were intending it too, take a few moments to actually mourn that because getting it out is going to be so much better than holding it in.
When I got the news that I didn’t get the job, I don’t think I reacted much at first. I think I told myself I didn’t care and carried on with my day, but after a few days I just couldn’t do anything, and the reason for that was because I didn’t give myself a chance to really finalize it, be upset, and then come up with a game plan to move forward. So I was just stuck in this awkward limbo area where I wouldn’t recognize I was upset or acknowledge the disappointment, and therefore was struggling to move on. Ultimately, it’s better to take a couple of days to wallow and be sad then get back on your feet than spend a week aimlessly doing nothing.
Make a game plan.
Regardless of what the disappointment was for you, it’s time to come up with a game plan. For me, that meant tirelessly researching new jobs to apply to, looking into new avenues to broaden my freelancing, and trying new things. Although I don’t have a solution yet, I’m in a much better place than I was this time last week.
Sit down and work out step by step how you’re going to overcome this challenge. This can include making a list of all the things you should research, a timeline on what you want to accomplish at what point, and what your long-term goals are. Planning terrifies me, I’ll fully admit that, but it’s always better to have some kind of plan on how you’re going to overcome this rather than going into it blindly.
Know your own heart and keep perspective.
This sounds dramatic, but disappointment can lead to anger and that can lead to losing yourself. It may not be common and it may be drastic, but it’s important to remember nothing is as bad as it seems and try to stay true to your core values. I may not have been offered that job, but maybe it was a job I wouldn’t have enjoyed, and now I have the opportunity to explore other avenues that maybe I never would have considered otherwise.
There’s an upside to everything, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Another crucial part in dealing with your disappointment is to keep perspective. There is always something out there worse than what you’re currently experiencing, and for me, I look at people who’s lives have been turned upside down, like refugees, and think about what it must be like to lose your home, your country, your friends, perhaps even loved ones, and my life doesn’t seem so bad after all. I’m lucky, and I know that. Perspective can be everything when dealing with downturns in your life.
Don’t doubt yourself.
I’m guilty of this probably more than anything. If someone has let you down you may be thinking it’s your fault, if you didn’t get that job offer you might start to think you’re not good enough, if you can’t keep up with all of the things you want to accomplish you might see yourself as a failure, but all of this is not true. I believe in you. It is so easy in circumstances like this to put yourself down and doubt your own worth, I’ve been there, but take a step back and remind yourself that you are worth it, you are amazing and you are a talented, wonderful person, no matter what has happened.
The key to success is believing in yourself, even when you think it may be impossible.
Disappointment can suck, but keeping these four tips in mind will help ease the struggle and help you move on and move forward. I didn’t get that job, but I know my life isn’t over. I’m ready to plough on and apply to new ones and not neglect my blog in the process, and grow as a person, and I know you are too.